Billy Keels  0:00  How to actually shatter struggles between work and home. Today's episode is sponsored by Billy Keels advisory services. If you want to learn more about how to make your 99 optional, just go to make it optional.com. Once again, that's makeitoptional.com. How to actually shatter struggles between work and home is absolutely for you in this very brief episode. If you have ever felt like you you were in one place and you were letting yourself down and you wanted to be in the other place, and you're letting yourself down and you are constantly bearing the burden of trying to make everybody happy as an executive, as a head of household and I'm going to share with you my experience because I am really, really, really, really tired of seeing people, leaders beat themselves up over something, and it's not even your fault, like and I'm going to share with you because I've been through it. So if you just give me a couple of minutes, it's going to be a very brief episode. And I gotta warn you, this for some like it may not make you very happy, because you're going to realize that a lot of what you have been told is one of the main reasons that you are continuing to suffer because, and I'll just put it out there, for many, many years during my corporate life, I struggled between family and work priorities. I just put it out there like I just did. I struggled between the two of them because of the way that I grew up, because of what had also accomplished and achieved. There was this constant struggle between I've got to go out and I've got to make sure that I am making the right decision, because I'm making more money and that's going to provide versus how do I actually continue to make people happy? Because when you're stuck in the middle, like you're the one that suffers, I don't want you suffering anymore. Because as I was focusing on keeping everybody happy, and, you know, I let the additional pressure and fall on my shoulders, and I felt like I just couldn't keep doing it. And like I said, the reality was I just wanted to make the right decision and at the same time keep everybody happy. Do you? Do you hear how that even sounds like now I'm on the other side of it, and I'm helping others that were going through the same thing that I was going through, but and when I hear it, it just hits differently now, but I had everything. It was making sense to me at the time. It all made sense to me, and that's why I was constantly feeling torn. Because when you want to make the right decision, you want to make money and you want to make everybody happy, like some of these things are compete. They have competing interests. And unless you're focused on understanding what you really want as an outcome, it's easy to get caught in the middle. And guess who suffers you? That's who you and so it was. And when I say when I was constantly 20, I don't know if this is going to make sense to you. Probably will, unfortunately, and so that's why my heart goes out for you. It's one of those moments where when you're at work, you really feel like you wanted to be at home because you wanted to be at an event, or you're missing something else, like when I missed my son's third birthday party, maybe you missed that and you're feeling really guilty. You're beating yourself up over it, or when it's a weekend morning and you're supposed to be with the family, and you're up early because you want to get just a little bit ahead on the work because you got your boss, you think your boss is going to be checking on Saturday, Sunday, instead of actually enjoying the time with your family. You this, this constant sense of wanting to get ahead, to be more productive at the office and be more present at home, and you're constantly working day, night, weekends, and when you're with family, it's like this ongoing battle for your mind and your heart, and at the end of the day, you're always wanting to get ahead and not really stopping and enjoying where you are right now be where your feet are, right? Ask me how I know. Ask me how I connect through these types of these types of stories. Because at the end of the day, like what I was looking for was that person that had, like, their nervous system was calm, like I knew that at a certain point I needed to calm down and not have the rotation so high, because when you're like, when you're constantly going, going, going, going, going, well, that's why people, they're constantly talking about burnout, like, I never got to that point of burnout, but I recognized, like there was a moment where my nervous system needed to be calm. I couldn't constantly be torn up all over the place, like wanting to be here, wanting to be there. And so I came to a realization. And this is something that I talk about a lot. I mean, even go check out my LinkedIn and you'll see it, or maybe, depending on when you're watching this. I may have changed the banner already, right? But the thing is, how you actually shatter the struggles between work and home is stop trying to be balanced. Stop looking. Looking for balance. Stop trying to be everything to everybody at a certain point. Here's what you have to do, just like I explained. And if you want a detailed explanation, go listen to episode 492, but it's you've got to stop looking for this thing called balance. You've got to stop looking for it, especially if you when you are a high achiever, when you are a head of household, when you are right, because when you're trying to be everywhere and everything to everybody, that's when you lose. Ask me how I know. So the thing is, stop looking for the balance and start looking for harmony. Sometimes people ask me, Well, Billy, what's the difference? Well, Harmony means that you're making a decision, and the decision is an agreement between yourself and yourself, and if you have a significant other or spouse, it's the agreement between the two of you. The harmony is I agree that when I'm all in at home, I'm all in at home. I'm not worried about what's on my phone. I'm not worried about all the other things that could come from the outside in, because I've already made an agreement with myself, with my family, with my spouse, with my job, that this is where I'm going to be. Now, of course, there's exceptions. I can hear somebody running on the treadmill and like, hey, but what happens if use your judgment? But this is the agreement with yourself. This is not trying to be in balance. This is about being in harmony with your decisions. Being where your feet are. That's what this is about. And when I realized that I could be where my feet were because I had, had made the agreements with myself, with those that I love, those that love me, then guess what? Life got a lot easier. I didn't seem to struggle so much between what was happening at home and what was happening at the office, because there was an agreement of what was happening, right? And I'm not going to tell you that it was easy and it happened overnight because it didn't, and it doesn't, but that's why you don't have to do these things alone. That's why you're here. You're listening. It's because you want to understand how it could happen, and then you've got to go from here today, which is the the theory, and I'm sharing with my experience, because I've been there, done that high achieving corporate exec, top talent program. They called it catalyst. Doesn't matter. Different same thing, different name, and still build a business that was doing over six figures as a side business, right? It is possible. Don't tell don't have people tell you, it's not it is. I did it, and I'm not that special, right? I just followed a plan. I made a whole bunch of mistakes, and now I'm helping people not make the same mistakes that I did, so that they can get there sooner, enjoy and shatter the struggles between work and home. They can shatter that early on and get more out of each and every day, because you're living and walking in your ideal day, right? It doesn't happen overnight, but this is a philosophy that you can and will adopt. I highly recommend it, because once I started it, life got a whole heck of a lot better. It did. And here's the thing, because I said I'm going to keep it brief, and I promise you, I'm going to keep it brief, this is the thing, even though it didn't happen overnight, it did happen. And the thing that I want, more importantly for you to understand, is you cannot make everybody and keep everybody happy. It's not going to happen. This is the biggest realization that happened for me. This is the biggest transformation that happened in my life. Was to recognize it's okay. I don't have to make everybody happy. It's okay. I've got a point of view. I want to be with my family when I want to be with my family. I want to serve my clients when I want to serve my clients, and that is something that needs to be agreed first of all with yourself and be okay with it, and then with those that you love the most. Because once you set those effective boundaries and respect them, guess what, you win your family wins your your your office wins, your company wins, everybody wins when you start with yourself, in being in harmony, being in agreement with yourself. And if you're not struggling with this today, but you know someone who is please do them the favor of sharing today's episode, be that beacon of light that is going to help that person stop suffering from trying to be everywhere all the time that is constantly struggling between work and and home. Help them share today's episode, and then go one step further, share the episode. Don't forget to call them. Don't forget to call them. Say, Hey, what did you think about the episode that I just sent you, that I shared with you yesterday morning, I gave you some time, because Billy makes these really brief episodes. Let's talk about it be the one that makes a difference in their life. Because while you are doing that, guess what I'll be doing, I'll be right here, right here, preparing another episode. So until then, you want to make it a great day. And thank you very. Very much.Billy Keels  10:06  Today's episode is sponsored by Billy Keels advisory services. If you want to learn more about how to make your 99 optional, just go to make it optional.com. Once again, that's make it optional.com.