Billy Keels  0:00  

This is what actually happens when authentic appreciation hurts you. Today's episode is sponsored by Billy Keels Advisory Services. If you want to learn more about how to make your 99 optional, just go to make it optional.com Once again, that's make it optional.com

Speaker 1  0:19  

helping you build freedom without losing your edge. This is the Going Long Podcast with Billy Keels.

Speaker 2  0:30  

This is

Billy Keels  0:32  

what actually happens when authentic appreciation hurts you. Is the episode for you if you have ever felt like, because of so much of what you feel about your role in your job, that even though you want to break away and do something else on your own time, the thing that's keeping you stuck is probably more obvious than you see, and it has a lot to do with appreciation, which is why I said that in the very beginning. Give me just a couple minutes. This is another very brief solo episode. I just want to talk to you. I have been there, but before I even do that, I want to ask you just a couple questions. Like, what if the thing that keeps keeping you stuck isn't actually your job? What if we thought about this way? What if the thing that's keeping you stuck is actually every single thing that you've given, everything that your job has given you. Think about this: you've got this amazing title, you are a senior AE, you're a VP, you're a senior director, you're an executive vice president, or you maybe it's the things like you've gotten from the benefits, and you've got this amazing pay packager earning $400,000 plus a year, or $250,000 plus a year. You've got amazing insurance from a from a health perspective, you've got RSU, you've got all of these wonderful benefits, probably a really nice German sports car, or some other nice sports car, or electric vehicle. The company's paying for it. They're paying for the gas, they're paying for the electricity, whatever it is. And aside from that, like, you get access to every single room, because the no matter the biggest companies, the biggest organizations that you work for, it, they open doors, and so you don't have a problem with accessing anybody. Think of about all this stuff. Now, all of this stuff, of course, it's absolutely real. You're the one who's done all the hard work, you're the one who's earned it. But because you've done all of this, because all of these different things have begun to happen for you, it gets harder and harder and harder for you to even contemplate, think about doing something other than your role, now you've got this voice is getting louder and louder. We've talked about it before, you know it, I know it, but you're so appreciative of all these wonderful things that you are well deserving of, right? And so I want to.. this is the thing that I really want to talk about today, because it's something that I continue to hear over and over, and when I continue to hear him in the whether it's in direct messages on LinkedIn or it's on a strategy call for people that have come to me through LinkedIn or friends of friends, whatever the case may be, and I want to address it here. Right, that's why I love this platform. I love using this platform to be able to talk to, to talk to you, to share with you, because if it's happening on multiple calls, it's happening in real life, and I want this to be valuable for you, so that you don't stay stuck, that you can start to realize that this appreciation anchor is the thing that's keeping you way down, like I said, you've got the titles, you've got all of those things in your company, you realize is investing in you, and, and also prioritizing you, because they're putting dollars, euros, yen, whatever the case may be, wherever you are listening to this in the world, pesos, the company's putting money behind you, they're prioritizing you, because they're putting their money where their mouth is, right, this is something that has to be really, really learned, really, really understood, and I see it, and I hear it more and more and more, I'm going to digress, just for a second, your company is always putting their money where their mouth is, so as you begin to create your own path, you've got to put your money where your mouth is. You believe in yourself, put your money behind yourself. You believe in your skill development, put your money behind the skill development. Now I'm going to come back, let me not get off track too much, but at the end of the day, with all this appreciation, with all these different things that are happening, you realize that what it is that you want, you want to continue to be in control, you want to feel in control, and you want to feel safe, that's the whole point. You don't want to do anything to disrupt what could be the security for yourself, for your family, for your livelihood, for all of the things that you've designed, because you realize, just like I realized, no matter how well you do your job in corporate, and I really, really enjoyed my 26 year corporate career. I really enjoyed it, but I was always just one reorg away from everything that I was building to have to start over from scratch. Had I not. Started my own path in parallel. I did not quit. I did not stop. I was not silent. I continued to build in parallel, and that's why I want to share this with you, right? Because I know what it was like in the beginning, having so much appreciation, not being able to do anything else, because I had been so graciously given all of these different benefits and titles and packages and things like that. Here's the thing, don't fall into the trap. You can do both. It's not an either or proposition. This is not an either or proposition. This is an and proposition, right? You can enjoy your corporate role, and you can be able to build a profitable side business on the side in parallel, and the thing is, it's really easy to get caught up into this, and it's.. I broke this down in an entire episode. Once you believe you want to get started, you say, "Oh, well, you know what? I'm going to wait until I get the promotion. Once I get the promotion, then I'm going to start doing something to build on on the side, or you know what? Once I actually have x amount of money in the bank, and it's different for different people, then I'm actually going to start to invest in myself, or I'm going to actually go out and buy that first asset, or maybe then I'm going to begin to build a new business around my personal brand, only until like when I get to this thing, this this artificial self-created kind of idea, then you're going to start the whole thing, crush that win, then loop. It's get rid of it, and if you need help, go to episode 622 Episode 622 break it down. Happens so frequently. And why am I doing the podcast episodes about it? Why? Because it's happening a lot. I'm getting a lot of the calls that I'm in, and a lot of the direct messages I'll start this when I do that, and I get it, you're frustrated because there's a lot going on with your identity. It can be disruptive if you've always been, you introduce yourself when you go to pick up the kids at school, if you make it back home on Friday, or you're dropping them off on Monday, or whatever the case may be, and your identity becomes the title that you have in the car that you're driving. Well, you know what? After a while, it can get extremely exhausting, and you are appreciative of all of the different things that you are given. I wouldn't even say given, actually, that's probably the wrong word, the things that you have rightfully deserved. But no matter what keeps happening, you keep coming back to that exact same question, and that same question is, I'm doing all of this work, and what exactly of this is mine? How much of what I'm doing every day at the end of the day do I own? And when you hear this deafening silence, and you're tired of hearing the deafening silence, and I'm not saying some people want the deafening silence, they just want to put their pen down and be done with the day, but not you, because if that was you, you would definitely not be here listening, watching, because you want more, that voice is getting louder, and you're trying, and you're not trying, you are figuring out what is the next path for you to take, I get it. I've been there. That's why I'm helping other people navigate through this thing. Doesn't have to be like that, you know. It wasn't too long ago I spoke to a really high-ranking leader in a multinational enterprise software company, and I've thought about it, because it happens so often, like for me, I talked about it, was my son's third birthday party, right? I just couldn't continue to do that, I was out of alignment, but this thing, and I hear this a lot, said, "You know what, Billy, I can't see myself doing another 20 quarters like this. This person had only done like 18 quarters, so it wasn't like massive amounts of quarters, but said already, you know, four times four to 16, just been over four years in terms of the sales, of course, he'd done a lot of consulting before that, but he didn't see doing another 20 quarters moving forward, 20 cores, that's only five years. He just didn't do it. The rhythms too high, the double digit growth is too much. You know, another guy said, you know, I'm coming to these meetings and my cut, my clients are more informed than I am. I'm tired of being on the back foot. This whole thing was around artificial intelligence, it's changed the game. I don't have the same level of confidence I was before, because it's changing so fast. Before, it was changing fast, but now in the enterprise software space, specifically, it is changing at an astronomically fast rate, and that causes a lot of confusion. But the thing is, is at the end of the day, that's why we start, and we sit down, especially when working together in the, in the executive advisory program, there's one thing that you absolutely need to know, so that you can stop being hurt by your authentic appreciation, stop being pulled down, because it's always someone else before yourself and your family, do. You got to get clear, that's the first step. And when you're clear and you know what number you're after, like the optionality number, then it's really easy to understand. How do I continue to be appreciative and do what I'm doing in my role, achieving overachieving against your targets? 104% is it's okay, 120 is okay. I know that you want to do 300 plus percent. I get it. Been there, done that. But also, what is what are you really after? What are you truly after? And recognizing how much your authentic appreciation it can hurt you if you're not aware of it doesn't mean that you're not going to perform or over perform in your role. Absolutely, does not mean that. Do not get confused here. We're not talking about that. We're talking about continuing to perform, continuing to over perform, and in parallel be able to build something so that you're not feeling hurt because of your authentic appreciation. And let me tell you, you're going to go through the same things that I went through, the same things my clients go through. It is being confused and feeling unfamiliar with this new identity that you are walking into. It's not just because you are the executive vice president, is not just because you are the senior AE, it is not just because you are the director of whatever, on a regional level, on a global level, on a, you know, a specific location level, it's a part of the process. Lean into it, accept it. Okay, because when you go through that and you recognize what is the number that you're going after, you are crystal clear on what you're doing, you're crystal clear on why you're doing it in the amount of time and the people with whom you want to invest more of your time. That's what this thing is about. And so, whether it's getting to your very first rental property, or maybe it is getting to your very first online business, you've got the MVP, the minimum viable product that we've talked about here before, and or you're beginning to realize all of this different capital that you've built from your career, you can use that you are able to attract others, help them solve their problems, and as you're building out your own brand, right, and if you need help with that one, the last one specifically, I just did a whole episode on that. You can go to episode 6306 30, and you can find out why your career capital is your use that to your biggest competitive advantage. Absolutely, use it. You can go through any of those things, because at the end of the day, what we're here to help you do is realize that you don't have to get any more validation for your own personal worth from your company, that is not where it starts. That can be complimentary, right? That can be complimentary, but the thing that you want to be able to do is you want to be able to move from your corporate dependency to being able to do and enjoy your corporate role because you choose to, because you have made the option to enjoy the role for what it is, and for what it's worth, and you're going to continue to over achieve against your targets, and guess what, you're going to have more control over your income, you're going to have more control over your time, you're going to have a lot more confidence, because the appreciation is where it needs to be, that authentic appreciation, it's no longer hurting you, this is becoming another advantage, you're leaving, leading in, leaning into it, that's it. And if this isn't you, maybe it's not you, maybe you don't have this issue with being overly appreciative, and that authentic appreciation is the thing that's hurting you. Maybe, maybe you know someone who is suffering from this challenge around this authentic appreciation, and it's hurting them. So, do me a favor, do that person a favor, do yourself a favor. Take today's episode, share it, help that person understand how much you care. Sharing is caring. And then go from that, get on the phone, have a conversation, meet for a coffee, meet for a cold beverage, whatever the case may be. But please don't stay stuck in theory, get into the practice, start to talk about these concepts, take your first step of imperfect action, so that you can begin to move towards your goals. That's the whole point here. And while you're doing that, guess where I'll be? I'll be right here preparing for the next episode. So, until then, go out and make it a great day. And thank you very, very much.

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